Words don't really do the feeling of shame justice, but I think that Gershen Kaufman has done a particularly good job at attempting it in Shame: the Power of Caring (1980, Shenkman Publishing Company). Kaufman defines shame as being seen in a painfully diminished sense, which is a simple and understandable definition. Like many things, however, there is a ton of nuance hidden within the simplicity. The rest of this article will be a summary of Kaufman's work. The article sometimes seems fragmentary because a lot of material has been cut, so if you are looking for a smoother reading experience, consider buying the book and reading it fully.

Shame is affect, and is a large group of emotions, considered to be one of the core types of affect by many psychologists. Under the shame umbrella are:

• Shyness: shame in the presence of a stranger
• Embarrassment: shame involving something socially inappropriate
• Guilt: the violation of one'

Expressive Writing is a structured journaling practice focused not on recounting events but on diving headfirst into your deepest thoughts and feelings about emotionally significant experiences. It's not about grammar or coherence—it’s about honesty. The goal isn't to sound good; it's to feel better.

I remember the first time I tried it. I sat in front of a blank page with the vague notion that something profound was supposed to happen. What actually happened was a lot of scribbling, some uncomfortable truths, and—oddly—a sense of lightness I didn’t expect. Here's how you can start.

Books are ordered by author rather than my personal ratings. It's too hard to order these books by rating. The stand-out books are all terrific.

indicates a book that I added on the last round of edits, not necessarily a new release.

| Title | Author | My Thoughts on this Book

• 4 tbsp. duck fat
• 12 oz. salt pork, one or two chunks
• 1 whole duck (~5 lbs.) + 4 duck breasts
• 1 lb. pork shoulder, cubed 3/4"
• 2 lbs. garlicky fresh pork sausage (kielbasa), cut into chunks
• 1.5 lbs. dried cannelini beans, soaked in saltwater overnight
• 8 oz. crushed tomatoes
• 6 fresh thyme sprigs

Combine:

• 5g 120% hydration rye starter
• 12ml water

Disperse evenly, then add:

• 2 lb. Chuck roast, trimmed, sliced into ¾" cubes
• ½ c. Vegetable oil
• 6-8 Garlic cloves, peeled and slivered
• Around 2-3 lbs. Yellow onions, sliced into the desired size
• 1 bottle Light beer
• 1 gal. Homemade chicken broth/light stock (this makes a huge difference)
• ¼ c. Soy sauce
• 1 tbsp. Anchovy paste (or about 3-4 fillets smashed into a paste)

Pairs well with Côtes du Rhône or Malbec